Neglect

my mind is a vast,endless space

where not only one self exists

but multiple versions of me 
in an inescapable maze. 

I keep them confined

as I'm well aware

these hundred shades of despair

are not the very definition of fine.

and I fear that if I let them out,

I'll be all alone and pout;

neglect, 
after all, 
is a scary word

for the wrecked.

~ neglect

About 3 years ago, I made a promise to write something on this blog at least once a month. I was determined to be a consistent blogger with contents I'd be proud of, and maybe with actual real followers. I had been able to keep that promise for a year before the slump started to kick in.

Once a month became once every two month. Then once every 3-4 months. Now it's unpredictable, and I post only when I feel inspired, which sadly doesn't happen very often. 

There's no particular reason why I stopped writing regularly. I just did. and once you don't keep up with a certain habit, it's even harder to pick it up again, and that exactly what happened. Plus there are times it feels silly to write on a space where there's not even any audience who responds or gives feedback; I'm clearly talking to myself - my digital self. It's never a problem, though. I talk to myself heck a lot, maybe to an extend in which it becomes slightly unhealthy. Wanna see the true definition of introversion? Come see me in real life. 

Nonetheless, pouring my thoughts virtually helps my mind get more organized, and less hazy. Randomly collecting thoughts into one single post usually makes me more mentally stable. Thus I've decided to once again make a promise: at least one post a month; two, if I'm well enough, or even more. Let's revive this virtual space no one gives a damn about once again!

This time I have no ulterior motive nor a genuine intention. Maybe this promise happened just because I'm aging; I turn 27 in a few days and birthday gets me all emotional and thoughtful. It's the time I spend a whole day thinking about death, life, and everything in between, although I know it never fails to drive me insane. But I enjoy the insanity. I really do. 

To be is to write; that's how one should live. At least in my opinion.