Standing Up for myself: Going Vegetarian

"Why did you decide to convert? Don't you think you're being too hypocritical?"

"I don't think you'll last a year. Humans eat meat all the time."

"Nothing's gonna change in the world. We kill to survive. That's just the way it is."

and there are thousand other undermining comments from my family, my friends, and my colleagues, followed by a few scowls and whispers here and there. I don't even bother explaining myself because I know it will just burn me out. Every time someone asks me why, I'll just say, "that's just the way of life I pick. I do it for the animals." I am a vegetarian.

Flashback to my younger 6 year-old self who wanted to be a vet. My love for animals grew since I laid eyes on my very first dog, Leo, which up until now I miss and love tremendously. Even back then, innocent and clueless, I knew I wanted to grow up surrounded by animals, big and small, wild and domesticated. Though I don't get to live that dream of saving and curing animals (I'm weak at heart and not smart enough to get into Science), that burning passion for animals never dies. 

Fast forward to my adulthood when I found the harsh reality behind food & tourism industries involving animals. All horrid things I stumbled upon on the Internet -- countless reports of animals abuse, million videos and articles on cruel animal attractions, and even the ugly truth behind farm and meat industries --  kept appearing and I just couldn't turn a blind eye.

My old-self, my 20 year-old me would just look away and reassure myself that I couldn't make a difference. I wasn't motivated enough to call it a quit and I wasn't bold enough to stop eating beef, pork, and chicken; for me, they were just food, too tasty to be left out. But that old me slowly ate my soul away. I was constantly in conflict with my inner self, battling with contradictory views I held on animals and my way of living. I kept asking why I continued eating poultry and fish, but strongly rejected other more unusual meat (e.g., dogs, cats, rabbits, sharks, seals, etc). I questioned my decisions, trying to figure out what made these animals different from each others; how I ended up classifying them into food and non-food, while many other people can easily eat practically anything just to sate their taste buds and curiosity. I've always thought that using animal skins as fashion items is horrendous, that using animals to experiment on cosmetics is despicable, that using animals as entertainers is nauseating, but why raising them in such gruesome conditions just to be killed did not produce the same level of loath? 

It wasn't until I watched this video (please watch it to understand more of my decision) that I found the answer to all those conflicting ideas and beliefs: I was a speciesist, and I was not okay with that.
That particular crash course video on philosophy and non-human animals really got me thinking hard and deep about my life choices. It had been the first time I seriously considered my actions and conducts, and I finally made up my mind. I have had enough with the way humans treat animals as food: those cramped cages filled with chickens that have never got to see daylights, forced to eat, injected by hormones just to make them fat, then be killed like they are incapable of feeling pain, cows raised in a small area then transported in open trucks, tied together without proper food and water, throwing up and crying along the way, and end up in a slaughterhouse where they wait for their death, and many other animals that don't get to live the life they deserve. Most of the time, to fulfill the rising demand of meat, the animals' welfare is out of picture. Farmers just want their livestock to be fat, lay so many eggs, and be ready for consumption in the shortest amount of time possible. While this condition might not be the absolute truth as there are some farms that let the animals to roam freely and enjoy being truly alive for quite some time, the number of these more humane farms is very limited. More often than not, it is impossible to know where the chicken on our plates comes from, and how each was raised and killed. I have had enough. I no longer want to contribute to this vicious cycle.

Of course, many people disagree with vegetarianism/veganism. They argue that animals are there for us to eat. It has been like that for centuries. This view, however, is a flawed assumption. We can't simply live just because that's the way it has always been. For example, 100 years ago slavery was normal because back then people believed some humans were lower than others, and their ancestors had been doing the same thing, but now we clearly abhor slavery and sees it as a crime against human rights. Justifying an action based on culture and tradition thus doesn't make sense because the world evolves; humans evolve.

Another and probably the strongest argument people use on treatments to non-human animals is the argument of need. People need to eat to survive. Thus eating animals is justified in order to make sure of humans' existence. But we know now that humans can be perfectly healthy without eating animals. It's true that we need food to survive, but we don't actually need to eat animals. Why do we still eat them? Is it because they offer nutritional values? A lot of plants can offer exactly the same if not more nutrients.  

"The question is not, 'can they reason?' nor 'can they talk?' but rather 'can they suffer?'" - Jeremy Bentham, English philosopher and founder of modern utilitarianism.

I'm not trying to be healthier, nor am I doing this because of some religious faith (committing to a certain lifestyle/behavior just because of some centuries-old holy scriptures is simply senseless unless we can explain the rationale behind that prohibition/action). I don't think eating meat is a sin. I'm only interested in seeking the answer to every decision I make and the reason why I do certain things. I want to be consistent with my beliefs. Why would I be upset over the death of Cecil the Lion, why wouldn't I wear genuine leather or fur and buy non cruelty-free products, why was I repulsed by the idea of eating dogs and sharks, and yet I had no problem eating bacon when dogs and pigs share the same level of cognition? I wanted to be able to justify my actions, and therefore be more at peace with myself. If any of these arguments didn't matter, why would anything matter? I might as well opt out from rational thinking altogether.

In no way am I saying that by being a vegetarian I have saved million animals. I know for a fact that there will always be people who mistreat animals, who never think of or question their actions, who live life to the fullest and think that animals are at their disposals since humans are supposed to be the center of universe. Nevertheless, I also know there are other people out there who fight for animals, who, just like me, share the same level of compassion towards them and also make the same decision. I believe that my opinion matters, that my money matters, that if I contribute only to things that I believe in, I can make my own change. I, too, can be that agent of change. I, too, can be more aligned with myself and my belief. 

I'm not striving to be a purist as doing so will just lead me into being hypocritical. I'm just trying to live my life the way I want to be. I want to be proud of myself, to be able to justify my own action, to stop conflicting with my inner self, and ultimately to be a better species. Being vegetarian is my first step towards that goal. Hopefully as I walk on this journey, people will understand my decision, and maybe I can also inspire them to do the same. 

Am I happy being a vegetarian? Yes and no. Yes, I'm now more at peace with myself, and I realized I don't even miss eating steak or pork or chicken. I'm now unconsciously making healthier choices for my body. No, my life is still at conflicts. There are many other things I still do that I can't quite justify just yet. I'm not perfect, but at least I'm doing something about it. I don't turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. I'm fully attuned and I will always be. 

Will I stop at just being a vegetarian? Definitely no. I want to eventually be a vegan, but I don't want to pressure myself right now. I'm transitioning, and I know it will take a while until I'm fully comfortable with where I am today. The decision to phase out meat completely itself has affected so many other aspects of my life, and it goes beyond just food. Making radical changes will just be futile as I'm sure I won't survive even a week. After all, slow and steady wins the race, right?